Tempered Generosity

     Being generous is wonderful. It always leaves everyone with a warm fuzzy feeling... right?

     Have you ever been on the receiving end of a well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) gift, only to feel slighted? For example, you receive an elaborate gift from someone, but feel it was only meant to impress others? Or maybe someone spends time discipling you, only to disappear without another word? While the person's intentions are appreciated, it almost feels as though the net result was a loss.

     I see this too often. From leaders who mean well, but overbook themselves... from volunteers who are pumped up, but lose interest after the glitter fades... from people who want to give generously, but never get their hands dirty.

     As a church, we are absolutely called to be generous (Acts 20:35 It is more blessed to give than to receive). But we are also called to be devoted. Our generosity- whether with our time, our money, our belongings -should be intentional. It should bless others and put them ahead, but should not leave them feeling abandoned or alone. It should help to empower and encourage the recipient.

     The scene surrounding the giving should be non-existent. The right hand should not know what the left is doing. It is not an opportunity for a giver to receive accolades, nor for her to feel superior. A gift should be a blessing, an investment into another for His glory.

     I pray that when we give, love and humility take center stage, that we keep our hearts and intentions in check. After all, it is only by God's grace that we have the ability to give in the first place.

Other People's Children

     I am a teacher. I have always been a teacher. I love kids. I love helping them learn how to do things. I love shaping and molding their lives. I like to see their faces when they do what they thought they couldn't.

      I also take a weird sense of satisfaction in correcting people's children... at Walmart, the mechanic, the zoo. Weird, I know. But I know that when expectations are raised, kids rise up to meet them.

      So I became a foster parent. Makes sense, right? If you're 25 and single, it's the cool thing to do!

     If you don't know, at 25, I became a certified foster parent, and at 26, I had joint custody with the state of two teenage girls. One lived with me for 3 mos, the other for 15 mos. It had it's moments of pure crazy ( court dates and family visits are almost as bad as the day FOLLOWING court dates and family visits), but the little girl who was with me for 15 mos thrived.

     She made all A's and B's. She was polite and helpful and learned to love Jesus and people in a way she hadn't before. When she left, she fell off the proverbial wagon. She made some bad decisions and started bouncing from house to house. It broke my heart.

      The other little girl had bigger problems. She left us when she wasn't succeeding. She pushed people away and manipulated. Being in foster care fed her desire for attention and drama.

       For the last year, I had been unable to contact either girl. Case workers, therapists and placements had all changed. No one was willing to help connect the dots for me to touch base with them.

      But God moved.

      Some friends ran into the first girl (14 mos), and found out that she is in the process of being adopted by a family who had adopted several other teens from care. I know that with stability like that, she will succeed. Praise Jesus that she found a forever family.

       The other little girl was still a mystery. No one had seen or heard from her. Until yesterday. I turned a corner in a Walmart aisle and boom! ran almost smack into her! We hugged and caught up. I showed her pictures of my new baby, she told me about her life. She has been placed back at home with her mom, and has the longest stretch of healthy decisions (8 mos) that she's had in years. She made some bad decisions recently, but it seems as though she has the support to prevent the bad decisions from becoming habit again.

     Seeing and hearing about the girls reminded me what I love about foster care. Yes, it is crazy (family visits are almost as bad as the after effects of family visits), but is also an opportunity for hope and redemption. We will become certified again ( hubby for the first time) when our sweet little Potato turns 2. Instead of a single girl fostering teens, we will be a family of 3 welcoming itty bitties (no more than a year older than Potato).

     We can't wait to see what God has in store for us. For now, we rest in our peace until it is time for our crazy.

My biggest blessing

    I am a blessed woman. I have more than I need, and am so loved. But I really hit the jackpot when God gave gave my hubby to me.

    I am not always nice. In fact, I can be downright mean. And grumpy. And condescending. (I'm praying about it. Totally not the point of this blog post. :)

     My husband? The opposite. He is truly a servant. Through and through. He loves me through my crazy. He serves me breakfast in bed almost daily. He works his tail off so that I can stay home (mostly) and love on our baby girl. He lifts me up in every situation. He is the spiritual leader of our home.

    To top it all off, I can't imagine going through trials or transitions with anyone else. I truly believe that this one factor will be the game changer. In the periods of major upheaval, we lean on each other, we look to God, and we draw closer to Him as one.

      The list of his awesome qualities goes on and on. I honestly can't believe I got so lucky. I pray that he always knows just how much I love and appreciate him, even (make that especially!) when I'm mean. I would not trade him for anything in the world.