I hear the moms say, "My 6 year old (or 3, or 7, or 10...) year old has a girlfriend! Isn't that cute?"
The 5 year old says, "Johnny is my boyfriend!"
I'm going to be honest. I don't find it cute. It actually scares me.
Let's break this down. Kids don't inherently know about boyfriends and girlfriends. They may hear the word as they get older, but as a parent, it is your job to define these terms. If you define boyfriend as someone to play with for a few weeks and then forget about, that becomes a part of your child.
I'm going to back up for a second to clarify. Playing house is great. Children are able to mimic the healthy relationships that they see portrayed, and they explore the roles of Mommy and Daddy, parent and child, etc. This is such an important part of a child's development!
But if we aren't intentional about how we present marriage and dating to our kids, or we don't realize the impact of our language, they will learn things we never intended.
A friend who used to serve in kids' ministry with us did this the right way. Her boys were 5 and 7, and they understood, at their level, how it worked in God's plan. They would openly offer their knowledge. "Kisses are only for Mommies and my future wife." "I can't hold your hand because I don't want to marry you."
Here's the underlying truth that they understood: romance is not there for fun. It serves a purpose that only comes about after you have decided you could marry a person.
Could you imagine if all of our kids had a foundation that started this way? They would only consider holding hands or kissing if they were interested in marrying the person? Not to see IF they would be interested in marriage, but WHEN they were ready.
Let's help our kids set the stage for intentional romantic relationships and a healthy marriage. Take the teachable moments and help them to define the world in God's terms. I pray that our kids are able to be the amazing men and women God wants for their spouses!
